I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
youre lurking in front of me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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