I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize