So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
