Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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