he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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