do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
