That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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