I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
