Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
