Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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