Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
