Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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