; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize