oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize