omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
