dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
