He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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