How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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