:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
