I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
