I heard we made out
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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