I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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