One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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