New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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