Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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