Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize