I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
