her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
