The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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