well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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