hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
