I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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