He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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