Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
