Porn is love you can see.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
