Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
