she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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