the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize