its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
