Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
