GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
