I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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