Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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