Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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