Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
