he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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