In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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