i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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