if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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