I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
