He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
