dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
