so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
