Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
