try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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