AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is my gift to your gina
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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