I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize