I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
