the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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