Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can I color on your dick again?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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