Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
